Swipe, Text, Ghost

Talking stage, cutting off, benching, or just endlessly texting into the abyss, has dating become love’s greatest psychological experiment?

By Aadya Oberoi

Modern romance feels less like a fairytale and more like a never-ending reality show, except there’s no grand prize and definitely no happily ever after. Instead, people find themselves stuck in an exhausting cycle of almost-relationships, where commitment is rare, and clarity, we don’t talk about that. With expressions like ‘talking phase’, ‘situationship’, ‘benching’, and ‘vanishing act’ shaping romantic exchanges, one has to wonder, is this a mockery now?

It starts with endless messaging, intermittent meet-ups, and just enough attention to keep hopes alive. But do not be fooled, it is a never-ending mirror maze.

“It feels like courtship without a title, intimacy without assurance, and a relationship without any actual foundation. You are investing time, energy, and emotions into something that ultimately has no direction,” says Raima Ahuja, a 23-year-old mass communication student at Guru Gobind Singh Indraprastha University. Digital platforms shape these interactions, where a well-placed ‘like’, a cryptic Snapchat story, and the dreaded ‘delivered’ notification has replaced honest conversations.

Then comes the pseudo-relationship, an illusion of romance without substance. Deep talks, spontaneous plans, and undeniable chemistry vanish the moment commitment enters the chat.

Manas Maini, a 19-year-old student at Institute of Information Technology & Management, describes this as exhausting, explaining that it is like building a house on quicksand. One lays down every emotional brick with care, only to watch it collapse the moment the dreaded question, ‘What are we?’ is asked. The worst part, he says, is already knowing the answer before even asking.

And just when it seems unbearable, there is ‘stringing along’, the romantic equivalent of being kept on standby. You exist, but not entirely. “It is like waiting in an endless queue that never moves forward,” says Riya Arora, a 17-year-old student at Salwan Public School. Then comes ‘ghosting’, the ultimate escape act, where someone vanishes without a word, leaving behind confusion and self-doubt.

This endless cycle of uncertainty and avoidance does more than just frustrate, it profoundly affects one’s mental health. A 42-year-old freelance psychologist Dr Richa Malik, working in Delhi, explains that when individuals feel replaceable, they internalise rejection, which can spiral into deep-seated fears of abandonment and long-term attachment difficulties. She highlights that this constant emotional instability erodes self-worth, making future relationships even harder to navigate as trust feels out of reach (like a WIFI connection).